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Hawkeye: Baker, all a nose is is a nose. It takes in air, and it breaks up the space between your eyes and your mouth. It has nothing to do with a person's value or quality. It's there to catch a cold through, or at which to look down on people from. Enjoy it. You've been given a good, strong, aquiline nose.Private Danny Baker: That went back for seconds.Trapper: I like it. Its got character.Hawkeye: Yeah, it's got a sort of assertive je ne sais quoi.Private Danny Baker: And it arrives everywhere five minutes ahead of me.Hawkeye: Hey, you don't have a copyright on it, you know.Trapper: There are plenty of great people with big probosci.Hawkeye: You know why Napoleon always kept his hand down here? He was scratching his nose.Private Danny Baker: Look. I appreciate, and you're only trying to make me feel better.Trapper: It's only true.Private Danny Baker: You don't have to live with the jokes. "Excuse me, but my bus is late, and it's raining. Mind if I stand under your nose?" "Ever thought of putting in an attic?" At my draft board, the guy next to me says, "You could be 4-F. Just tell them you're an anteater." What about it?Trapper: The point is, kid, we're not plastic surgeons.Hawkeye: Yeah, it's not a tough operation, but it's a specialty. I mean we don't want to just "denosify" you. We want it done right.Trapper: It's also against regulations.Private Danny Baker: You think this is regulation?

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