Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: [Drunk out of his mind and listening to Hawkeye and BJ make fun of him losing his position at Massachusetts General] Is that what you think... Beej? Is that what all you cretins think?Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Did you hear something that sounded like Charles?Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: The mummy speaks!Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Indeed, and I'm going to rise from this hideous tomb and leave all you relics behind.Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Going somewhere Charles?Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: You bet your beer soaked brain I am. [Holds up piece of paper] Read this and weep. This is from the Massachusetts General Hospital, see [mumbling drunk] Mahahuhet genel hopital. You are looking at the next chief of thoracic surgery [hiccups on thorasic] . Gentlemen, eat my DUST! [throws paper down with a sinister grin]Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Well, we got him to talk.Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: That's nothing, I can make him yell. Charles, uh, I wouldn't pack my bags just yetMaj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: No?Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: No... uh... see... Beej and I sort of... uh... well... know about... your newsMaj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: You read my telegram.Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Read your-oh heavens no.Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: We would never read your telegram.Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: We wrote it.Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: You wrote that?Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Well I have to admit it's not the nicest thing we've ever done, but you have to realize that you challenged us!Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: There was no other way to get you to talk.Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: We don't like to lose Charles.Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Especially to you.
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