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Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: [creating Tuttle's service record] Religion?Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre: Atheist.Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: I don't believe in atheism. Let's make him a Druid.Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: What's that?Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: They worship trees.Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: Ah, a tree surgeon.Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: [writing] Druid, reformed. They're allowed to pray at bushes.

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