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Claire Dunphy: No turkey? What's the plan, Phil?Phil Dunphy: Cornish game hen. If you look real close, it looks like a turkey, and we each get one.Jay Pritchett: Sounds like fun.Claire Dunphy: No! Not fun! You were supposed to get a cooked turkey. These aren't even defrosted.Phil Dunphy: You want them defrosted? Here. [Takes taser and shocks each hen with it] Merry... freaking... Christmas!Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: Is that my stun gun?Phil Dunphy: Yeah, and it works great!

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