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[first lines]Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not simply going to say, and now for something completely different this week, because I do not think it fit. This is a particularly auspicious occasion for us this evening, as we have been told that Her Majesty the Queen will be watching part of this show tonight. We don't know exactly when Her Majesty will be tuning in. We understand that at the moment she is watching The Virginian. We have been promised that we will be informed the moment that she changes the channel. Her Majesty would like everyone to behave quite normally, but her Equerry has ask me to request all of you at home to stand when the great moment arrives. Although we here in studio will be carrying on with our humorous vignettes and spoofs in the ordinary way. Thank you. And now without any more ado and completely as normal, here are the opening titles.

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