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Victor Meldrew: When you think about it, nothing ever exists, in fact. I was working this out in the post office as I was waiting for that woman to finish twanging her elastic bands. The future doesn't exist because it hasn't happened yet; the past doesn't exist because it's already over. But the present doesn't exist, because as soon as you start to think about it it's already in the past. Which doesn't exist any more.

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