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Hamish: Maybe I should enter for Stars in Their Eyes myself...JP: You don't look like anyone!Hamish: Well, I've always thought I bear a striking resemblance to the late, great Frankie Howerd...JP: But he was a comedian! You have to look like a singer to get on Stars in Their Eyes!Hamish: What about... Robbie Williams?JP: Too tall...Hamish: Morrissey, out of The Smiths? Suzanne Vega?JP: Forget it, fat nose! You don't look like anyone! You've got more chance of meeting a donkey than being kicked to death by Matthew Kelly! Mm... I think I meant to say that the other way around...

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