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Roseanne Conner: [about a song-writing contest Dan entered] Yes, we're gonna win that contest. Then we're gonna snag a great big ol' recording contract, then we're gonna pack up the kids and move to Nashville... And then me and Dan are going to buy these great big ol' platinum blond wigs, you know, and then I'm gonna change all the kids' middle names to "Bob", you know like, "Becky Bob", "Darlene Bob", "D.J. Bob".

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