Taylor Swift: [sings] I like glitter and sparkely dresses, but I'm not gonna talk about that in my monologue. I like baking and things that smell like winter but I'm not gonna talk about that In my monologue. La la la la la la. I like writing songs about douche bags who cheat on me but I'm not gonna say that in my monologue. I like writing their names in songs so they're a shame to go in public. But I'm not gonna say that in my monologue. La la la la la lala la la. This is my musical monologue. You might think I'd bring up Joe, the guy who broke up with me over the phone but I'm not gonna mention him in my monologue. Hey Joe, I'm doin' real well. [audience cheers] Tonight I'm hosting SNL, but I'm not gonna brag about that in my monologue. la la la ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha la la la. And if you're wondering if I might be dating that werewolf from "Twilight" [blows kiss to the camera and mouths; "Hi Taylor."] I'm not gonna comment on that, in my monologue. La la la la la la. This is, my musical monologue. You might be expecting me to say, something bad about Kanye. And how he ran up on the stage, and ruined my VMA monologue. But there's nothing more to say, everything's okay, I've got security lining the stage, [two security guards appear on-stage] in my SNL monologue. Lala la la la la laaa. This is my SNL monologue. Lalalalalalala. That was my SNL monologue.
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