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Big Pete Wrigley: [narrating] Just the thought of LOOKING at Beardsley's legs was enough to make anyone's gut juice curdle. That's because they're covered with big varicose veins. And if you look at 'em up close, you'll see that the veins on her legs look just like a road map of central Iowa. On the news one day, I heard about a new highway being just built through Iowa. The next day, Beardsley had a new vein in just the right place.

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    Barbra Streisand's first line in her first movie was...?
    A "Hi, I am here!"
    B "Papa, can you hear me?"
    C "Hello gorgeous!"
    D "Hello, Dolly!"