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The Angry Video Game Nerd: [opening lines] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III sucks shit. Not even regular shit. Putrid, barfed-out, roadkill, diarrhea shit. Now you might be saying, "well that your opinion." Well, yeah, it is my opinion that it's a motherf***ing FACT that this pile of dogshit called Ninja Turtles III is the most godawful disgrace in human existance.

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