Sheldon Cooper: Hey, there he is! There my old buddy bud-bud!Leonard Hofstadter: What's with him?Howard Wolowitz: Koothrapali dumped him on me and he couldn't get to sleep so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mom's Valium in it but he still wouldn't shut up so tag you're it![Wolowitz drops Sheldon's bag and leaves]Sheldon Cooper: I'm baaack!Leonard Hofstadter: I still don't know why you left.Sheldon Cooper: I can't tell you.Leonard Hofstadter: Why not?Sheldon Cooper: I promised Penny.Leonard Hofstadter: You promised Penny what?Sheldon Cooper: That I wouldn't tell you the secret. Ssh!Leonard Hofstadter: What secret? Tell me the secret.Sheldon Cooper: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it but we can't tell dad!Leonard Hofstadter: Not *that* secret! The other secret!Sheldon Cooper: I'm Batman! Ssh!Leonard Hofstadter: Damn it! Sheldon, you said Penny told you a secret. What was the secret?Sheldon Cooper: Okay, I'll tell you. But you can't tell Leonard.Leonard Hofstadter: I promise.Sheldon Cooper: Penny lied about graduating from community college because she's afraid she's not smart enough for Leonard.Leonard Hofstadter: So it's nothing I did? It's her problem?Sheldon Cooper: I drank milk that tasted funny.Leonard Hofstadter: Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous!Sheldon Cooper: I know. Most of your work is extremely derivative. Don't worry that's not a secret. Everybody knows!
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