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Alice Kramden: [to Norton] Ed, I realize that I cannot talk to Ralph because he is stubborn and unreasonable, but I've always had great respect for your sense of fair play, and so I appeal to you. IT IS LATE. People would like to go to sleep. I think you should stop playing the piano. And I know that you will agree with me, Ed, because you have always been fair and considerate. You are a reasonable man.Ralph Kramden: Don't let her soft-soap you. Don't let her soft-soap you! You're just as unreasonable as I am. Play the piano!Alice Kramden: If you touch that piano again, I'll lose all my respect for you!Ralph Kramden: [threateningly] Go ahead and *play*, Norton, if you don't wanna lose my friendship!Ed Norton: Well, I'm in a spot. If I play, I lose her respect; if I don't play, I lose your friendship. [anguished wail] Why, oh why was I blessed with this musical talent?

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