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Mike: [Mike walks up to the bartender at the saloon] Eh, hello, can you tell me where the assayer's office is?Bartender: [suddenly the bartender has a green cap on his head and a sign on the counter that says 'Assayer'] This is it.Mike: Oh, well, what I'd like is to have that analyzed. Could you tell me what that is?Bartender: [hands him a jar of dirt from the Nesmith farm] I don't have to analyze it, I can tell you what it is right now.Mike: Well, what?Bartender: It's guk! And it's disgusting, go and get it outta here.

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
    A Casablanca
    B Django Unchained
    C Gone with the Wind
    D Doctor Zhivago