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David Brent: [David has just discovered a dildo hidden in his office while in a meeting with two business consultants] Excuse me, everybody. What am I doing in there, with a dildo? She says it's not hers. And I for one believe her. So whose is it?[Trudy slowly puts her hand up]David Brent: Well, what's it doing in there?Trudy: Well it's a birthday present. But... I don't know what it's doing in there.David Brent: [to the two consultants] There, you see. Practical jokes. Is it today, your birthday? Many happy returns. But, what have we learned from this?Trudy: Not to leave your dildo lying around.David Brent: Don't let it out of your sight. Because it could wind up...[he accidentally flicks a switch and it starts oscillating]David Brent: Oh, God. What do you do when it gets like that? Well, you probably...[he hands it, still oscillating, to Tim]David Brent: Could you... make sure it gets back to... her.

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    Who said: "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"
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    C Mae west
    D Sophie Loren