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Superintendent Chalmers: [On Grampa Simpson's advice, Bart has kissed Nikki] Today we are gathered to put a stop to something that would have been considered innocent 100 years ago, but which in today's litigious society has been blown completely out of proportion.

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    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Who steals my purse steals trash; But he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him and makes me poor indeed."
    A Marcus Aurelius
    B Julius Caesar
    C lincoln
    D Othello