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Sideshow Bob: [at his parole meeting] Your Honor, my incarceration is cruel and unusual punishment. First, my prison-issued shower sandals are grossly undersized [lifts one of his famous meter-long feet onto the table, the sole of which is mold-encrusted save for an incredibly small shower sandal]. Secondly, the prison book club consists mainly of prisoners who club *me* with books. [pulls up shirt, reveals series of angry, red, rectangular bruises] These are from the new Tom Clancy. Although I must say it's less painful than reading him. Am I right, folks?

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