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Superintendant Chalmers: Now let's clear this up. Who exactly are you?Sgt. Seymour Skinner: Sergeant Seymour Skinner, U.S. Army.Principal Skinner: It's true. I was in his platoon. But, they said you were killed on that scouting mission.Sgt. Seymour Skinner: No, just captured. It's kind of a funny story, really. After five years in a secret P.O.W. camp, I was sold to China for slave labor. And since '77 I've been making sneakers at gunpoint in a sweatshop in Boo-Haun.Marge Simpson: That's not a funny story.Sgt. Seymour Skinner: Well, I guess you had to be there.

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