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The Monarch: [about the Phantom Limb] When he was in college, he was a scrawny little wuss. In a desperate attempt to be cooler than guys like me, he had his 12-year-old roommate create a machine that speeds up the muscle building process. The machine worked so well that every molecule in his extremities was accelerated beyond the speed of light. There were two side effects. One: He could mess up a guy just by touching him. And two: He became a humorless dick!

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