Charlie Harper: Hey, Berta, how have you been washing my underwear?Berta: Like I do everything else around here: with a song on my lips, and love in my heart.Charlie Harper: I'm serious. I got a rash in my, you know, private area.Berta: Private? You get any more traffic down there, you're gonna have to open a Starbucks.Charlie Harper: Yeah, well, I thought maybe you'd changed laundry soap, 'cause it's all red and itchy, especially right around...Alan Harper: Excuse me! I'm sitting here eating a breakfast sausage.Charlie Harper: It's not a sausage problem. It's more in the meatball area. Kinda meatball-adjacent.
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