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Alan Harper: Listen, I... I need to ask you for a favor.Charlie Harper: [drunk] Your needs. Your needs. What about my needs?Alan Harper: Are you capable of having a conversation?Charlie Harper: Capable? I just spent twenty minutes discussing open-toed shoes with a fat man from Rangoon. He's a Rangooooooonian.Alan Harper: We'll talk in the morning.Charlie Harper: I wouldn't count on it.Charlie Harper: Go ahead, you talk. I'll cook.Alan Harper: It's 11:30. What are you cooking?Charlie Harper: Good question. And I can give you the answer in two words: my famous homemade chili.

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