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Alan Harper: [Charlie and Alan are arguing about the double date they just came from] What do you want from me? I-I-I went out to the club. I went to the after-hours club. I went out to breakfast. I held my date's hair while she vomited pancakes in the parking lot.Charlie Harper: Well if you weren't whining about wanting to go home, you'd be having sex with her right now!Alan Harper: Oh darn! What man doesn't dream of kissing second-hand pancakes?

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