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Juan Epstein: Mr. Kotter, I got a note excusing my absenteeism.Gabe Kotter: [Unfolds note, begins reading] "Dear Mr. Kotter. Please excuse Juan's abs - " Aren't you gonna read along? [Epstein shakes head no] "Please excuse Juan's absence. He was home sick with the stomach flu. Sincerely, Mrs. Epstein." Fine. That's okay, Juan. Your excuse is perfectly legitimate.Juan Epstein: I know. That's the problem. It's the first legitimate excuse I've turned in in 11 years. Me, Juan Epstein, the flim-flam man of Buchanan High School, a legit excuse. What's the world comin' to?

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