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[Discussing response to an inflammatory speech by a foreign diplomat]James Hacker: Humphrey, do you think it's a good idea to issue a statement?Sir Humphrey Appleby: Well, Minister, in practical terms we have the usual six options. One, do nothing. Two, issue a statement deploring the speech. Three, lodge an official protest. Four, cut off aid. Five, break off diplomatic relations; and six, declare war.James Hacker: Which should we do?Sir Humphrey Appleby: Well, if we do nothing we implicitly agree with the speech. Two: if we issue a statement we'll just look foolish. Three: if we lodge a protest it will be ignored. Four: we can't cut off aid because we don't give them any. Five: if we break off diplomatic relations we can't negotiate the oil rig contracts. And six: if we declare war it might just look as though we were over-reacting.Martin - Foreign Secretary: In the old days we'd have sent in a gunboat.Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes.James Hacker: I suppose that is absolutely out of the question.

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