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Bill Bailey: [Unisex Chip Shop - a tribute to Billy Bragg] I used to buy my chips from an oppressive chip shop regime. The girl who worked there, she seemed happy, But I knew it was not what it seemed. Do you want salt and vinegar, was what they made her say, But in the language of the ghetto, That means, Help, I'm a woman in chains. I wanted to free her. In my dreams I would see her. Running naked through the woods round Rainham, If I had some tigers I'd train them. To protect her From the sexual fascism that was lurking, round the gherkins. I'd lean across the counter and we would talk, I carved the name Debbie on a little wooden fork. But into the shop came a skinhead gang, They snatched the fork from my hand. Debbie, she looked at me, to assert my masculinity. I said Oi!, they said What?, I said Nothing.

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    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Not all those who wander are lost."
    A Agatha Christie
    B Marl Twain
    C Maya Angelou
    D J. R. R. Tolkien