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Bill Bailey: [the Ballad] I was alone my heart was cold, it was a stone / my soul was lonely like a stone - there was no moss / And when I danced I danced alone but then I did not dance / because I *was* alone. So I did not dance / I shuffled through life invisible to all the happy couples who would mock me with their merry laughter - "ha-ha-ha" / The only sound I heard in my lonely silent world was the rusty hammer of my heart nailing at the hatred in my soul / But then you came, and my life was turned upside down / You showed me the beauty of the things that I had never seen / Like a snowflake that melts on the eyelash of a startled deer / Or the painting of a dog that wears a deerstalker and smokes a pipe that made you laugh so heartily, but I had previously thought was rubbish / Or the duck that lands so clumsily on a frozen pond in winter / but the intoxicating power of our love transforms this simple act into an anthropomorphic drama where Mr. Duck's embarrassed and the other ducks are laughing, quack quack quack quack quack, / AND THEN YOU LEFT! / And I have died a thousand deaths and I will die a thousand more! / I thought you were an angel - you turned out to be a whore! / And everything has turned to dust! Everything is infected with the plague! / Why did you have to sleep with Craig? / "Oh he's so sensitive, he's got a tattoo." / Yeah, carving your name with a compass in my forehead was not enough for you! / The snow flake on the eye of the deer has turned to puss that oozes from an open wound / The deer now blind it stumbles into a ravine / The duck lies shredded in a pancake, soaking in the hoisin of your lies / The dog has moved from the pipe to 60 cigarettes a day, and coughs away his life in the cold neon research lab of your betrayal.

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