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Bill Hicks: You know, the world's twelve-thousand years old, and dinosaurs existed in that time, you'd think it would've been mentioned in the f***ing bible at some point. "And o, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth, but the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus with a splinter in his paw. And o, the disciples did run a-shrieking 'What a big f***ing lizard, Lord.' But Jesus was unafraid, and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus' paw, and the big lizard became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a Loch for oh so many years, inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat f***ing families and their fat dollar bills. And O Scotland did praise the Lord. Thank you, Lord."

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    Barbra Streisand's first line in her first movie was...?
    A "Hello gorgeous!"
    B "Hello, Dolly!"
    C "Papa, can you hear me?"
    D "Hi, I am here!"