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Bill Engvall: I took Duke to the vet 'cause he eats his own turds, and I asked the vet, "Isn't that unusual?" and he says, "No, a lot of dogs do that. Just take some of this powder here, sprinkle it on his food and it'll make him stop." I said, "What's it do?" He says, "It makes his turds taste bad." [lengthy pause as audience is laughing hysterically] "I'm sorry, Doc, did you just say 'it will make his turds taste bad'?" Let me tell you something, if you've stooped to eating turds, you've never uttered the phrase, "Oh my God! This is nasty!"

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    A Lyndon B. Johnson
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