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Ron White: My wife and I have a tour bus on which we have 3 dogs, 2 of which are Scottish terriers, because if you drink enough Johnnie Walker products, eventually they just send you the dogs. Our Scottish terriers' names are Birdie and Bogey, and someone said, "That's cute. You named your dogs after your golf game." I said, "If I named my dogs after my golf game, they'd be named Double Bogey and Where The Hell Is That Ball Going." Which is kind of a long name for a pet.

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