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Mom: [Mason is leaving for college] This is the worst day of my life.Mason: What are you talking about?Mom: [Starts crying] I knew this day was coming. I just... I didn't know you were going to be so f***ing happy to be leaving.Mason: I mean it's not that I'm that happy... what do you expect?Mom: You know what I'm realising? My life is just going to go. Like that. This series of milestones. Getting married. Having kids. Getting divorced. The time that we thought you were dyslexic. When I taught you how to ride a bike. Getting divorced... again. Getting my masters degree. Finally getting the job I wanted. Sending Samantha off to college. Sending you off to college. You know what's next? Huh? It's my f***ing funeral! Just go, and leave my picture!Mason: Aren't you jumping ahead by, like, 40 years or something?Mom: I just thought there would be more.

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