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Derek Johnson: It's obvious that college hasn't prepared you for the pleasures of performing a class-one download in the great outdoors. Observe. Step one: dig a hole. Step two: squat and release. And take your time, no need to blow a gasket. Step three: which is my personal favorite, wipe your ass with this here Army issued toilet paper. Sometimes called Alpha Whiskey, or John Wayne. Step four: return to base with a smile on your face. [hands her the shovel]

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Tonight we dine in hell!"
    A Troy
    B Braveheart
    C 300
    D Gladiator