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Vice-President: Hello, and thank you all for coming. I take this podium today, reluctantly. And with a heavy heart. President Howard Ackerman was a great American. I was proud to be his friend, and proud to be his vice president. Yes, he did try to level Moscow and kill billions of innocent people, but only because he was trying to protect us. And in the end, isn't that what really matters? We owe much to those brave heroes who stood against the forces of fascism and communism, like that courageous young commander who led the free world to victory. Thank you, commander, wherever you are. Today, I will take the reins of this great country and together, we will march forward into a bright and prosperous future. We will share with our defeated enemies the fruits of capitalism and consumerism. For if they're shopping for cars and plasma TVs, they won't want to build up massive armies, or invent new weapons of war. They'll be enjoying the American dream, sitting with their families on Super Sunday, watching the big game with the rest of us. Fellow citizens, I humbly accept this honor and promise to make you proud. Thank you, and God bless America.

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