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[Cleveland and Quagmire are still chained up in the basement watching the DirecTV help channel, reciting the spiel in unison with the presenter] Quagmire and Cleveland: And now you're ready to enjoy the full range of exciting DirecTV programming options. And remember: For answers to any questions you may have, you can consult the onscreen help menu. Or, 24-hour online assistance is available at www.directv.com/help. So sit back and enjoy DirecTV. Thanks for joining us. [beat] Welcome to the DirecTV help channel; your destination for getting started with your new DirecTV system. [censored version] Cleveland: Did I tell you I'm getting a spinoff? [uncensored version] Quagmire: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!!!

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