Sam: Heydeo!
Carly: People call me Carly!
Sam: [in a really deep and low voice] People call me smooth and refreshing.
Carly: And this be..
Carly and Sam: iCarly!!
Sam: Now crank that whistle!
[Patients woop and cheer]
Carly: Hey Sam!
Sam: Uh, yeeesss!
Carly: This isn't the iCarly studio! [pretending to be surprised]
Sam: Well it sure isn't Carls, because tonight..
Carly: We come to you live from Troubled Waters..
Carly and Sam: Mental Institution!
Caleb: [while the gang is doing iCarly] Warning! In the year 2029, aliens capture Ryan Seacrest!
Sam: Now tonight on iCarly, Gibby's gonna sit in some sushi, and he will try to identify what kind of fish it is.
Gibby: Fingers crossed for salmon.
Carly: Um, actually we're gonna do something else first.
Gibby: K, then I'm going back to the men's room. [walks off undoing his belt]
Sam: Um, what do you mean we're doing something else first?
Carly: Okay! So you people wanna see Sam and Freddie get together?
Freddie: Carly, I don't think that it'd be-
Carly: Sshhhh!
[Freddie stops talking]
Carly: Now Sam thinks it's insane for her to like Freddie.
Sam: Cause it is.
Carly: But we wanna hear from you.
Caleb: Four years from now, Viginia, and West Viginia, will merge, to form one huge Viginia!
Carly: Settle down Viginia. Now we wanna hear from you, the fans of iCarly. So if you think Sam's insane for liking Freddie, or not, just video chat us right now here at iCarly.com!
Sam: Dude-
Carly: Here's... Wavy Becca.
Wavy Becca: Hey iCarly!
Carly: Hi!
Sam and Freddie: Hey.
Wavy Becca: I think Sam and Freddie would make an awesome couple.
Carly: So to clarify, you don't think Sam's insane for liking Freddie?
Wavy Becca: No way! Freddie's hot.
Carly: Yeah, let's not get carried away. Okay next up, we have.. Goopy Gilbert. Hey Goopy Gilbert! What do you think about Sam and Freddie-
Goopy Gilbert: Seddie! Seddie!!
Carly: So you think Sam and Freddie should be together?
Goopy Gilbert: Seddie!!
Carly: Thank you!!
Sam: Okay, I don't care how many iCarly fans say I'm not insane for liking Freddie. I know I'm-
Freddie: Waaiitt, wait wait wait wait. Let's take one more chat.
Sam: No I don't wanna-
Freddie: Just one more.
Sam: Urghh.
Freddie: [hands Carly the camera] Hold this.
Carly: You be nice.
Freddie: Just.. [Freddie turns on his pear pad and starts messing around with his laptop a little bit, then turns towards Sam and starts speaking into the pear pad] Hey, it's Freddie. So, uh, a lot of people have been talking about whether Sam and I should, you know, go out with each other. And everyone's wondering If Sam is crazy for wanting to, but nobody asked me how I feel.
Sam: We talked about it.
Freddie: No, you talked. You told me how you feel, while you ate a quasadia.
Sam: The quasaida's here are amazing.
Carly: Sshhh!
Freddie: Anyway, yeah, it's important how Sam feels but how I feel is important to.
Sam: Okay, Benson, we get it. You wanna humiliate me, on the web in front of millions of people, go ahead and just do it, I don't care. Get back at me for all the mean things I've s-
Freddie: [interrupts Sam by kissing her LIVE on iCarly]
Sam: You mean that?
Freddie: Mmhm. So I guess we're both insane.
Sam: So now what?
Goopy Gilbert: SEDDIE!!!
Goopy Gilbert's Mom: Gilbert, dinner time!
Goopy Gilbert: SPAGHETTI!!!
Carly: And goodnight!
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