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Monk: [on the nudists] You defending them?! Capt. Stottlemeyer: Monk, this is San Francisco! There's a million weirdoes out there! Some of them are wearing clothes, some of them are not. And yes, I am defending them. That's what this means. [pats his badge] We defend them. I spend a lot of my time, too much of my time, trying to keep bigotry and racism out of this department. Monk: I am not a bigot-- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Well, I don't know what else to call it, Monk! You wanna put this guy away for the rest of his life because he makes you uncomfortable. Look, you've always had issues. But this isn't just another quirk or phobia, like, uh, your fear of clowns or round things. This is different. This is new. And weird. And ugly. Monk: First of all, I'm not afraid of round things-- Capt. Stottlemeyer: Monk, you're a great detective. Look at it like it's a mystery. There's something going on here. Something's going on inside of you. Figure it out, detective. I don't wanna see you back here until you do.

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