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Gareth: Do you know, I was thinking the other day about how kitchens used to be in olden times. Little things we used to do back that we've all but forgotten about since, like, for example, how we used to clean them from time to time. Piers! You see, this is my explanation for why the surfaces in this kitchen are so low: it's the foot or two of crap we've accumulated underfoot, making us seem that much taller. Piers, dear heart, you've found a brush! How wonderful. Haven't seen one of those since I was a small boy. Where did you get it? The Science Museum? Go carefully, Piers; there my be a Roman Mosaic hidden underneath.

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