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Fit the Tenth: The Guide‍'‍s omissions are less easily rationalised. There is nothing on any of its pages to tell you on which planets you can expect suddenly to encounter fifteen mile high statues of yourself, nor how to react if it is immediately apparent that they have become colonies for flocks of giant evil smelling birds, with all the cosmetic problems that implies. The nearest approach the guide makes to this matter is on page seven thousand and twenty three, which includes the words "Expect the unexpected". This advice has annoyed many hitch-hikers in that it is a) glib, and b) a contradiction in terms. In fact, the very best advice it has to offer in these situations is to be found on the cover, where it says in those now notoriously large and famously friendly letters: 'DON’T PANIC'.

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