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Jay: (reading card) "Jay, you massive stud, please please spaff on my tits, from your Valentine's bitch. P.S and on my face" Will: It's just funny all these cards seem to be written in the same scrawny handwriting? Your secret admirers are either all very young, or have severe learning difficulties, which I admit is a possibility. Jay: Nah, look...the handwriting's just bad cos they were strumming one out as they wrote them!

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