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Rose: I haven't been this scared since 1952, when St. Olaf's most active volcano threatened to erupt. Well, luckily, there was some Druid priests who were in town for the opening of Stonehenge Land. They said they could stop it if they could sacrifice the town's dumbest virgin...I don't know why I raised my hand. It must have just been the excitement of the moment. But they said the only way to prevent the eruption was to crawl through their legs up the volcano while they gave me my birthday whacks. Well, and you're not gonna believe this, it turns out they weren't druid priests at all, just a bunch of shriners looking for a good time.

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