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Pam: So then it's settled. We're a go on Operation... what should we called it?Cheryl: Dick Sledge.Ray: You wanna...Pam: No, but it's like sour milk. You just gotta take a whiff. What's the story, Neckbones?Cheryl: Sophomore year at my stupid college, I had a huge crush on the quarterback, this super-hot guy named Dick Sledge...Pam: Sploosh!Ray: Jinx.Cheryl: ...but it was like I was invisible. He wouldn't even sign my cast when I broke my own arm. But I thought if I knew what he liked, then I'd have an in, so one Saturday when he had a game, I broke into his dorm room to see what music he was into, or turtles, or roll around in his clothes or whatever, but...Pam: You were so busy sniffing his jock, you didn't hear him come in...Cheryl: Because he totally snuck up on me. And I guess I blacked out because I don't remember stabbing him at all.Pam: Why'd you have a knife?!Cheryl: I didn't! It was a stupid pair of scissors, and it was his fault for grabbing me with his throwing hand! That's how his tendon got severed!Pam: Holy shitsnacks.Cheryl: Yeah, they said he could've gone pro.

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    Who said: "In politics stupidity is not a handicap"?
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