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[Monk calls 9-1-1 while babysitting Tommy.]911 Operator: You mean, you've never changed a diaper?Monk: Hurry!911 Operator: Okay, sir. On the side of the diaper there should be two Velcro straps.Monk: Okay, I've got the straps.911 Operator: Now rip 'em open![sound of Velcro ripping]Monk: Oh! Oooohh! Oh, my God! Oh, the humanity!

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