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Maggie: [to Jim answering as Michelle Bachmann] Congresswoman Bachmann.Jim: Yes?Maggie: You've said that you were told to run for president by God.Jim: Please, I don't-Maggie: You have, right? You've said on a number of occasions that God told you to run for president. I have some clips if you'd like me to refresh your memory.Jim: Nope, my memory is fresh.Maggie: Here's my question.Jim: Good.Maggie: What does God's voice sound like? [everyone laughs] I'm completely serious. She's saying that God spoke directly to her. How is this not the first question asked in a debate? How's it not the only question? What does His voice sound like? What did He say exactly word for word? Did He speak in Hebrew? Acadian? Kiswahili-Bantu? And to put it in a medical context, is this the first time you've heard voices? She's claiming to be a prophet. The whole world is sitting on the edge of their seat. How is this not the first question we'll ask?Jim: First of all, can you stop pointing at me and saying "she" and "her"?Maggie: You're the one who wanted to play a woman. But tell me why that question is out of line.Jim: Because it's not the best way to demonstrate seriousness of intent and it's not the best way not to insult people.Maggie: Which people?Martin: Christians. 83 percent of the country.Maggie: I'm one of them. And she's insulting me!Jim: Please, stop pointing at me when you are-Maggie: Relax, J. Edgar. She's insulting me, she's insulting my family, she's insulting my congregation, and she's insulting my faith. She's implying that Christians are imbeciles who will believe anything while reducing God to a party hack who endorses political candidates. Now, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is the first time since Moses that God has given direct instructions to someone other than His son. But if so, I think it deserves a follow-up.

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    C Franklin Delano Roosevelt
    D Mao Tse-Tung