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Xena: People of Peleos, may I present to you Philipon of Crete, Reformer of warlords, dancers and evil people. It's said that he once convinced the King of Thieves himself to do a good deed for no reward other than his own virtue.Istafan: The King of Thieves? That degenerate blowhard?Autolycus: Beg your pardon?Istafan: Sinners like him never have the courage to be really successful. I'm sure he's just a fraud and an idiot.Autolycus: Ha ha ha, no doubt. Would you excuse me? (to Xena) This plan of yours, does it involve humiliating that horse's ass?Xena: Yep.Autolycus: Then I'm in.

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