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Vyvyan: I don't see what all the fuss is about. Vampires only attack virgins![Awkward pause]Mike: Yeah, uh, it's not myself I'm worried about, Vyv. It's Rick and Neil I'm worried about.Rick: Me, a virgin? Ha! [Increasingly scared] Just try telling that to some of the foxy chicks who owe me favours!Neil: Well if Rick's not a virgin them I'm not either!Vyvyan: Well, we'll find out shortly, 'cause the vampire's gonna know, and if anyone gets attacked, then we'll know they're a sissy virgin! [Beat] God, I hope snogging with SPG counts![Later]Neil: He's gonna get us and turn us into vampires! And we'll all be dead and yet still alive! Like Leonard Cohen!Mike: There's only one way out of this. We've all got to lose our virginity. Now!Vyvyan: But how, Mike? [Beat] Oh no! Bags not Rick!Rick: Bags not Vyv!Neil: [Confused] Bags not...Neil?

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