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Melchett: Field Marshal Haig has formulated a brilliant new tactical plan to ensure final victory in the field.Blackadder: Ah. Would this brilliant plan involve us climbing out of our trenches and walking very slowly towards the enemy?Captain Darling: How could you possibly know that, Blackadder? It's classified information!Blackadder: It's the same plan that we used last time and the seventeen times before that.Melchett: Exactly! And that is what is so brilliant about it! It will catch the watchful Hun totally off guard! Doing precisely what we've done eighteen times before is exactly the last thing they'll expect us to do this time! There is, however, one small problem.Blackadder: That everyone always gets slaughtered in the first ten seconds.Melchett: That's right. And Field Marshal Haig is worried this may be depressing the men a tad. So he's looking for a way to cheer them up.Blackadder: Well, his resignation and suicide seems the obvious choice.Melchett: Hmm, interesting thought. Make a note of it, Darling.

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