Boston Legal, Season Two

Alan Shore:
Mr Lumis, how do you feel about fat people? Because according to the Surgeon General three hundred thousand Americans die every year from obesity-related illnesses.

Kurt Lumis:
Other businesses are firing people for that. I haven't done it yet.

Alan Shore:
So you're thinking about it?

Kurt Lumis:
I'm always thinking.

Alan Shore:
Anyone can see that. How about alcohol consumption? People who have more than fifteen drinks a week are at risk of becoming alcoholics and alcoholism can cause cirrhosis of the liver, pancreatitis, increased incidents of cancer. Wouldn't it be a good idea to monitor your employee's alcohol intake?

Kurt Lumis:
Maybe I should.

Alan Shore:
What about coffee? Caffeine temporarily raises your blood pressure. Trans-fatty acids! And stress! Both of these things could cause heart attacks. That would certainly raise your premiums sky high. It's been proven arguing thirty minutes a day lowers your immune system. As does loneliness, there go your married employees and your single ones! You're going to have to watch these people all the time, Mr Lumis. I hope you're multitasked.

Kurt Lumis:
Mr Shore, I think you're exaggerating.

Alan Shore:
No. I'm just welcoming us all to 1984-the bus arrived a little late, and our tour guide George Orwell is good and dead. But nonetheless, we made it. And big brother Lumis is watching us.