Bunheads, Season 1

Michelle:
It's my zombie apocalypse vegas slut bag. I take it with me to every performance with me always. It has everything you would need in any sort of situation- Money, power bars, water, flaxseed oil, bobby pins, hair spray, ponytail holders, boob tape so your- on your boobs, don't look so hello.

Fanny:
I know what boob tape does.

Michelle:
...Condoms, handcuffs, handcuff keys.

Fanny:
You're like an X-rated Mary Poppins.

Michelle:
Then of course band-Aids, ace bandage, rape whistle, disposable cellphone, lipstick case you can hide some cyanide in, pretty mace...

Fanny:
Pretty mace?

Michelle:
Yep, mace that comes in a pretty little shiny bottle that if I pulled it out would say to the zombie apocalypse mugger, "don't be afraid of my pretty shiny bottle. It won't do anything but blind you!"

Fanny:
Good lord.

Michelle:
Oh and here, eyelash glue. And junior mints. 'Cause seriously, why not?