Bunheads, Season 1

Fanny:
[aftering finding Scotty asleep on her couch] You told him where I kept my key?! [now seeing Godot in Michelle's bed] Oh, you're kidding.

Michelle:
Fanny, you're back.

Fanny:
I'm gone two weeks, I come back and you're in bed with a child who wears flip-flops in public.

Godot:
Hey, Fanny.

Fanny:
Hello, Godot.

Michelle:
I didn't know you were coming back today.

Fanny:
How many men do you have stashed around here, huh?

Michelle:
You were supposed to come back next week.

Godot:
[seeing the photo on Michelle's phone she took of him while he was sleeping] Oh, is that me?

Fanny:
There's a man in my living room, a man in your bed.

Michelle:
I wrote it down. [getting out of bed in her underwear]

Fanny:
Is there one in the garage? Three in the potting shed?

Michelle:
[showing Fanny her phone] See? Next week. The 20th.

Fanny:
Today is the 20th.

Michelle:
[looking at her phone again] Crap, I missed my dentist appointment.

Fanny:
Who was the man in my house?

Michelle:
I don't know.

Fanny:
You told him to stay there. You showed him my key.

Michelle:
I did?

Scotty:
[running in] I'm sorry. I thought she was out of town.

Michelle:
Scotty?

Fanny:
Who's Scotty?

Scotty:
I'm Scotty.

Michelle:
Scotty's my brother.

Godot:
[still in bed] Excuse me.

Michelle:
[to Scotty] I thought you left.

Scotty:
I did leave, but I needed a place to stay for a few days, and I didn't want to bother you.

Fanny:
So you broke into my house like Robert Downey Jr.?

Michelle:
You can't just come in and out like this. [to Godot] You should get up.

Godot:
I'm kind of-

Scotty:
I know. I'm sorry.

Michelle:
You have to call.

Scotty:
I lost my phone.

Michelle:
Who loses their phone?

Scotty:
Lots of people lose their phones.

Godot:
Can someone hand me a towel or a throw blanket?

Fanny:
My house is not a hostel. It is where I live and sleep.

Michelle:
I didn't know he was coming.

Godot':
A dishcloth maybe?

Scotty:
I think I left it in Monterey.

Michelle:
Then go back and get it.

Scotty:
Oh, I'm not going back to Monterey.

Michelle:
Why? What's her name?

Fanny:
Whose name?

Godot:
A tea kettle?

Michelle:
Whoever it is that chased him out of Monterey.

Godot:
Baking sheet?

Scotty:
You are jumping to conclusions again.

Godot:
A skillet.

Fanny:
[finally to Godot] How about some pants? Before the baking sheet and the skillet, how about we find you your pants?

Godot:
Pants would work.

Fanny:
Find his pants.

Michelle:
[looking around] Pants, pants, pants.

Scotty:
Maybe I don't like aquariums. Or Monterey Jack cheese. Maybe cheese and aquariums are why I won't go back to Monterey. Did you ever think of that?

'Fanny:
I don't see any pants.

Michelle:
[pointing to Godot] Last night, you sure you had pants?

Godot:
Pretty sure.

Fanny:
Retrace your steps. You started this whole thing where?

Michelle:
Car. We started in the car.

Fanny:
How classy. Come on. Out there. [pulls her outside]

Michelle:
[from outside] Oh, got a belt!

Scotty:
[to Godot] So, how's oceanography going?