Chef!, Series One (1993)

Gareth:
You're a pea-brained, prat-faced, talentless, pillock-headed cretin, what are you?

Everton:
I'm a pea-brained...

Gareth:
If you took an intensive course of intelligence injections and studied till you drop, then one day you might make it to moron third class failed. Give me strength! I don't want to shout at you.

Everton:
No, Chef

Gareth:
I want to batter you with a hard and jagged kitchen implement! I'm only restrained by the ludicrous liberal pinko laws that we've got in this country!

Everton:
Yes, Chef.

Gareth:
In a sanely ordered, civilised society anyone found making runny mayonnaise would be tortured to death slowly in front of a warm applauding audience! Egg yolk, mustard, rescue it drop by drop!