Coupling, Series Three

Susan:
[Asked by Sally if she wants to talk about her break-up with Steve] Okay... you know what's really getting me mad? My boyfriend... my fiance... the man who, against all my better judgment I actually love... chatted up a woman in a bar. And on the very same day - the very same day - I chatted up a man. Do you see? Do you get it? I'm equally at fault. How can I ever forgive him for that? But, of course, I'm not going to forgive him because... because men - and I don't mean to generalise - are CRAP! They're the human race's only failed gender! Who needs them? And why are they so difficult to keep hold of? Do you think they realise that, were it not for the genetic imperative to populate the earth, they wouldn't get a date? That's one hell of an inducement! "No pressure, girls, but shag one of these or it's curtains for all humankind!" That's harrassment! But you know what? Do you know what's even more crap than men? WE are more crap than men! All those stupid books you guys had and... and these magazines! A hundred pages of "Men are useless bastards" and an article on why you should wake them up with a blow job! Am I alone on spotting the inconsistency here? And these places [beauty parlours] 'cause, for God's sake, don't let them see what we really look like! Just let them enjoy the results; don't let them see how it all happens.

Jane:
You know... I went out with Steve for six years...

Susan:
No, you didn't. You went out with him for four years. I checked.

Jane:
Oh... well it seemed longer.

Susan:
Yeah! Yeah! Of course it seemed longer. I, myself, have been going out with him since the 12th century. Or possibly since last week; it's hard to keep track. Because how are you supposed to measure time with the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with? What would make sense? Centuries? Nanoseconds?

Sally:
Eggs.